Oh, my…I just realized that I haven’t posted in a while. To be honest, I forgot that I have this blog. Ah, such a failure.
So! 2014 went by pretty quickly. I remember that around this time last year, I was an idiot who knew nothing. I didn’t care about what I was doing. I was ignorant of the red blinking lights which tried to warn me of the impending heartbreak. And then, poof! I became single. It’s not like I’m still chasing after that man and the memory of my pitiful self, but, I realized that it’s almost a year since it happened and that looking back wouldn’t hurt. I want to see how I improved during a year. I want to know if I was able to move from that spot. And, sure enough, I was able to move even just a little.
A year, huh? Time does fly fast. I didn’t even notice.
It was last year that I tried to change — of course, for the better. It was a year when I tried to push myself to do things. Many many things. However, in the end, I wasn’t able to achieve so much. Why? Laziness! What else?! Oh, also because I have no motivation.
I was doing so well until my brother came back for vacation. I lost it there. Haha.
This year, I feel like I can do the things I wasn’t able to do last year.
Yea, right. I said this last year too. Nope. This time, I’m serious. The beginning of the year started good for me. It was as if a heavy pressure was lifted off of me by the end of 2014 and I feel light at the beginning of 2015. Reasons?
- I became honest with myself.
- I stopped denying facts that I didn’t want to accept. I kept saying that I no longer love him and that I don’t care, but I still do. I’ll just love until it’s gone.
- I made my resolve to let go without any hatred towards him. I’m not going to say that the same goes for the girl. But, eh.
- I found my motivation to lose weight! Finally! I hope I don’t lose sight of it.
- For some reason, there’s this urge to make my self girly and pretty. It started with makeup and, you know, I feel like I became a little bit confident.
- I felt some emotions which I have forgotten a long, long time ago. I can’t describe it properly but you get this feeling during your high school days when you find out that someone is crushing on you. That ticklish feeling that you like and hate at the same time. That feeling which make your cheeks hot from blushing. That feeling which makes your heart and mind feel troubled because you’re not really interested and you don’t want to hurt them for avoiding or turning them down. And, that feeling which gives you a happy feeling knowing that someone likes and admires you. Yea, that.
I just really feel light and I LOVE IT! Hopefully, this year, I’ll be able to improve and achieve more. I already have a different mindset. It’s not all about him anymore. It’s not about me wanting to make him regret. It’s not about me wanting to change for him. This year, it’s all about me changing for me.
…and maybe for my someone special. Maybe, if I find one.
Oh. I sound so selfish. Not really. *grins*
With that said, I’m welcoming this year with open arms! Bring it, 2015! I’ll dance with your challenges.
Happy new year, everyone!
I’m a bit late with the greetings though.*sweatdrop*