I find it difficult to socialize with people. To be honest, I find it exhausting. The people who truly knows me are amazed as to how I look comfortable when talking to people. Comfortable in a sense where I can create a place for my self and smile all the time, as if I’m close to the person, where as I’m only trying to be pleasant and polite. I don’t want to make things awkward and boring. So, just like what I said on my previous blog, I smile like a carefree idiot.
Forcing my self to smile and be jolly is probably why I’m always getting exhausted and I honestly think that I should stop doing so.
On October 31st, 2014, an event “Especially For You” was held at Bahrain Carlton Hotel in celebration of the 41st Anniversary of our organization. It is an organization of unmarried individuals from the age of 18 and above — both single and in a relationship as long as they are not married. Because of this age group and marital status, the idea of the event was formed to make all individuals meet and greet the opposite gender.
Yes, yes, I know that it makes me look sad and lame seeing as I’m in this event but, I had to attend (due to reasons) and I had no other choice but to be in it.
During that night, I did not pretend (at the beginning, at least). I was being my self. My mind was peaceful and it was blank. I enjoyed the time when I sat alone in the room with my thoughts drifting away from the things around me. My favorite people were busy with all the preparations and I did not try to bother them. After all, they had to make sure that the event is successful and I, myself, had to prepare for my own performance.
Yes, I was asked to sing and nope, it didn’t go as planned.
I was both happy and disappointed that it didn’t happen. I was happy because I didn’t get the chance to practice properly, thus, saving my self from a possible embarrassment and disappointed because I wanted to sing and that’s the only reason why I attended the event. Anyway, it wasn’t such a big deal. I continued to drift until the programme started.
Actually, I felt sleepy but it doesn’t mean that it was boring as a whole. I laughed and enjoyed watching the programme. I probably ended up bored because no one was with me during that time and, most probably because, I didn’t try to enjoy the things they prepared. Ah, I am so horrible.
Okay! I’ll at least defend my self. Why didn’t I try to enjoy? Well, here are the reasons why.
- There were too many people and I hate crowds.
- The place was too dark and it made me gloomy and even more sleepy.
- I had no idea what’s happening.
- I had no intention to meet and greet someone of the opposite gender.
I did participate. However, I was mostly dragged to do it.
The Meet and Greet, Getting to Know You, Duty Fare, Jail, Darts, Photo, and Karaoke booths were beautifully set up around the hall. Well, I won’t say that it’s the best but it’s acceptable. And, I must say, I enjoyed the Photo booth mostly because of the background and the silly poses that we made. I liked it.
As you can see, I totally enjoyed posing. Oh, I’m the girl in orange. Hi!
Now, aside from being bored and dragged around the event, I felt embarrassed.
When they dragged me to do the Meet and Greet booth, I met Peter.
I remembered my sister saying something about him before. She told me that he’s cute and that I should try and check him out. But since I didn’t have an interest in that area, I didn’t bother checking him out when she asked me.
When I saw him sitting in front of me and remembered his name, I immediately looked at my sister who, and most probably, was the reason behind our pairing. I got a bit panicky. My thoughts went, “What should I say? Why am I paired with him? Do I look okay? What booth is this anyway? I should have stayed where I was!” And so, I ended up pretending again. I said random things and kept smiling. I was wondering if I looked like I was trying hard so much. I wanted to go. But, as time passed, I figured that he wasn’t so bad. Actually, I felt like we were friends.
We got to know each other a bit. He learned things about me and so did I about him.
At the end of our conversation, both of us were asked to write a message on a card attached on a prop heart (guys) and prop lips (girls). I gave him the lips which says, “Nice to meet you, Peter! – Maya” and I received a heart from him which says, “Advance Happy Birthday! – Peter :)”
I laughed. Actually, those words made my night.
So, why was I embarrassed?
Oh…it was because after the conversation, the “angels” of the booth must take a photo of us together. We sat on the couch next to each other and then, everyone suddenly went “Ayiiiiiieeee~!” I thought it was unnecessary. Ahhh. I wanted to run away but that would be too obvious.
And then, after the programme, he asked my sister to take a photo of us together on that couch again. I actually went stiff. I had to pretend that I didn’t care and that I’m carefree. I had to pretend that I’m not the least bit embarrassed. I still suspect my sister though. And then, everyone went “Ayiiieee~” again. Seriously! Because of that, an acquaintance asked me if I was crushing on him. I flatly said no which, in turn, made her ask if he was crushing on me. And, of course, I said no. I told her that it was the first time we met and that we don’t know each other.
Now, the Photo booth. If I’m embarrassed and all, why do I have a photo with him in the booth? (top right corner of the photo up there)
Well, it was my sister’s fault. She called him and asked him to take a photo with her. Just one! Then, she asked him to take a photo with me, asked us to stand closer, and took several photos. Ah, so embarrassing.
I gave up.